There are no words to convey how incredibly happy I am about today's ruling (but seriously, I want to try).
13 years ago, on a yahoo mailing list for Gundam Wing, I met a girl in Iowa. We wrote fanfiction together, we talked to each other almost every night on the phone and when she graduated college, she walked across the stage, got congrats from her family, then jumped in my car and moved to Minnesota.
We've been living together since she moved up here and through it all, this is the happiest I have ever been in my life. I love her so much and I can't dream of a moment without her. We have cats, we own a house together, we write novels together and we have our own little small business. You can always find us together, and if I have to be at work, well, she's only a chat window away.
Since we got together, I've had this horrible fear twisting in the pit of my stomach. Back when I came out as lesbian to my parents, their initial reaction was "No, you're not" and those words have stuck with me. They came out so pointed and bluntly and even though my parents are coming around now and accepting her, it will always be a reminder for how quickly people make a judgement about someone else.
My fear, honestly, is not being with her. I'm terrified of something happening to her and me being lost in the process. Like if something were to happen to her medically and I wouldn't be allowed in the room to see her. Or if she were to die and I was cut out of everything. Just, essentially, something happening and people's reactions cutting me out of this thing that means so much to me and my life - because it's somehow lesser then the mainstream.
Today we're a step closer to that fear going away. Today the US Supreme Court ruled that Gay Marriage is legal across the US. As of today - even though marriage was legalized in Minnesota 2 years ago - today the fear is quiet. Today we're all celebrating because we're one huge step closer to not being 'lesser' in the other eyes of the world.
I'm not a fool, I know that a ruling by a court won't change people over night. I know there's still issues people have with two women being together and I know there are some people who will never change. Just like there are some people who will always be racist and hate my wifey for the color of her skin. That stuff doesn't go away instantly, if ever. I'm aware of this and I'll always be aware of this.
But today we're a step closer. And tonight I'm going to go home, and smile the whole way. This weekend we're going to attend the Pride festival in costume and join in on a huge celebration that's been a long time coming.
The fear is quiet, I'm happier. And this world? It's just a little more rainbow colored.
